Cats and Candles

There's a constant thought in the back of my head when listening to people. A nagging doubt that takes over my thoughts and keeps me from being as true as I want to be. I'm constantly cursed with never being able to believe a soul, except for the few exceptions that come around. It reminds me of the old cartoons, almost. The "Devil" on my shoulder, whispering sweet, diabolical, horrendous nothings into my ear. A dull ringing in the middle of my heart, shaking the compassionate bit free until I no longer remember what a trusting face is. I'm surrounded by car salesmen and politicians.  Imagine that, for a second. For the lucky ones that have no doubt in their mind when a friend/family member is lying.
Actually, imagine having a long haired cat. It's shedding, full of energy. Light a candle. Now, that cat I mentioned is all filled with energy and unquenchable desire to destroy your room. What chance does that candle have? You either have to blow out the candle, so that the cat won't have a reason to make you doubt the safety of the cat or the danger of the candle, or you just have to constantly fear what the cat will do. But for me, everyday, the role of cat features any friend or family member trying to speak to me. The role of the candle, less glamorous but just as important, is that persons word. If I'm not there to witness the candle going out, or their side of the story, how in Hades can I be sure that they won't crash into the flame. Confusing as it may be, I just can't help it.
Some of us swim in doubt and pool ladders can be rare to find. It's hard to trust, harder to feel trusted. No matter how much love you share for someone,, they still have a cloud covering their face. You can never make out the look they give, but always have a fuzzy guess of what they might be trying to say.
And, seeing as I am not quite sure how to finish this and have been working on it quite a while, I'll revisit the topic later. Maybe with more knowledge of myself and of the way I think.